


Let's Take Our Time

by Ohana10221221



Category: iKON (Korea Band)
Genre: Eventual Happy Ending, Fluff and Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-02
Updated: 2019-12-05
Packaged: 2020-01-01 00:36:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 12,669
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18325130
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ohana10221221/pseuds/Ohana10221221
Summary: Jiwon promise to keep his feeling to himself. Not wanting to hurt any of them. But who can go against the universe? It sure takes time but as they learn all the hard time surely promise them a blooming relationship.





	1. Lies

**Author's Note:**

> Okay! So here is my first try. I'm not a good writer so you may notice how limited are my vocabularies or there's more grammatical error. LOL! The time frame of this story started with iKON's Konic TV EP1. And the rest of the time frame was maybe some of it mix up just to go with the flow of my story. There's maybe more inaccuracies of my infos but yes this is just a story. Gimme comments & advice though or ideas and anything. I'll read it and improve my skills of writing. Enjoy! :)

"Stop flirting with me. I hate it. I feel embarassed." Jiwon mentioned it during Konic TV. 

Hanbin can't deny how much hurt it is that words actually came out from his babyung. 

Hanbin has always been clingy to Jiwon. All members are aware of his clinginess. Well - Hanbin loves to touch everyone. But to his babyung, his affections are way more subtle. Because he LOVES Kim Jiwon more than anything. 

Hanbin never thought that he would actually likes/loves man. That specific man turns out to be his Jiwon. 

With what he has heard, Hanbin started to feel he need to drift himself away from Jiwon. He just laughed it off when Jiwon said it live in which thousand of their fans watched their first broadcast. Trying to shove away his unmutual feeling and continue with their broadcast. 

Back to the dorm feeling so down, Hanbin couldnt help himself not to cry. He rushed himself to the shared bathroom and locked himself for now.

"This is why I never push myself to confess to Jiwon hyung. I know he will never loves me back. I don't get the ideas why he acted so close to me if he never loves me. Did he just doing that because of fan service as fans really ship us being together? Oh bullshit! " Hanbin talked to himself. 

"Yah ~ Kim Hanbin! What took you so long inside? Oh man! Make it fast! I need to use the bathroom!" Hanbin heard Jiwon shouting from outside so he quickly wash his face and open the door to let Jiwon use the bathroom. 

'Hey ~ what are you - " Hanbin didnt let Jiwon finish his word by pushing him aside and totally ignore him. 

Hanbin heard Jiwon grumbling at him for being ignorance. But for now, he thought it would be better if he stay at his studio to calm himself. 

 

\------------------------------------------

Jiwon saw Hanbin's eyes. He knew Hanbin was hurt by what he said earlier. He wish he can explain but he stop himself of doing so. Not only Hanbin hurt, but himself too. 

"Oh God. Why is it need to be Hanbin? Out of the girls I've met, it turns out to be I'm longing for Hanbin? Why Hanbin the one I fell in love with? " Jiwon hate himself even more. 

If Jiwon need to be honest about his true feeling, it's himself need to sort out everything. He can actually tell Hanbin how does he feel when Hanbin's around him. Eventhough sometimes Hanbin being clingy annoys him, he loves Hanbin's presence in his life. 

Jiwon went to Jinhwan's room right after he saw Hanbin left for his studio. 

"Jinhwan hyung." Jiwon falls on his knees after knocking on Jinhwan's door. 

"Jiwon ah ~ Please let just call it a day. I'm tired, we all are. Could you just please - " Jinhwan stop talking right after he saw Jiwon crying and kneeling infront of his room. 

"Jiwonnie. What happen? Please talk to me. Don't cry. Get up please." Jinhwan really doesn't know what actually happen to Jiwon. It's been awhile he saw Jiwon crying helplessly like this, the last he remembered was when Jiwon felt so homesick and he almost gave up being a trainee. 

"Jiwon please. Get up and tell me." Jinhwan keep begging Jiwon to stand and tell him exactly what happen. 

"Hyung. This feeling hurts me. Why am i being so selfish with my own feeling? Why can't I just tell him 'i love him'? Why do I end up hurting him with my words?" Jiwon still crying and refuse to stand up. He feel so weak right now. 

Jinhwan feel so clueless as Jiwon continue crying. 

"Jiwon. Stop crying. Talk to me. What do you mean 'i love him'? Who do you referring to? How can I help you if you don't tell me what happen? If you're still crying, I'm gonna lock my door, let you just be alone crying here." Jinhwan trying to threaten Jiwon by saying that so Jiwon will tell him the truth. 

"It's Hanbin, hyung. Hanbin. I love Hanbin. I hate myself for loving him. Why is it need to be Hanbin? Why is it I fell in love with a guy?" Jiwon finally tell Jinhwan his feeling about Hanbin. Jiwon try to calm himself, don't want to keep crying and end up with hiccup. 

Jinhwan feel shocked right after Jiwon's confession. He feel blank quite awhile before continue to hug Jiwon. 

"Woah, Jiwon ah. Errr - this is quite new for me. To actually hear it from you, about your feeling. I really don't know what to say and in fact I'm not the right place to tell you what you should do." Jinhwan keep thinking the right words to match Jiwon's feeling as he know Jiwon still trying to calm himself right now. 

"Come, let's just sit on the couch first. I bet your legs tired too." Jinhwan pulling Jiwon to the living room to hear more about Jiwon's sudden confession about their leader - Hanbin.


	2. What's Wrong

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This will be more on Jiwon's POV.

Hanbin went straight to his studio because he want to be alone right now. Normally, he would stop by at Jaewon's or Raesung's studio but not today. He just feel like don't want anyone to come close to him. He's tired. Tired with his one sided love. 

"Hanbin ah. We brought food. Yayyyyy!" Jaewon excitedly coming through Hanbin's studio. Raesung joining them together with Seung and Dusty. 

"Oh fuck - Why didn't I lock the door? Damn!" Hanbin keep cursing to himself for his own careless doing. 

"Oh hi hyung." Hanbin greet Jaewon and the rest of his funny friends. 

"You came in late tonight. You have other schedule is it?" Jaewon asked Hanbin while putting out the foods and the drinks on the table while the rest keep teasing each other. Hanbin just nod his head.

"Oh okay. Err - let's eat." Jaewon realised something is not right with Hanbin but decided to ask him later after their supper. 

"Hanbin ah. We're going to Dara Noona's show next 2 weeks right? What have you prepare for the show?" Jaewon asked Hanbin to get Hanbin occupied with questions not letting him drowning with his own emotions. 

"Not quite sure. But I guess maybe I'll do some flower arrangement." Hanbin replied to Jaewon in his small voice. 

Trying to hype Hanbin up, Jaewon trying to tease Hanbin. "You know, one of the host though, she quite pretty right? Take a chance to be close to her. You need to learn to be close to female celebrities. Who knows, you may get yourself hook up with pretty ladies." Jaewon laughing at his own suggestion. 

"Yeah ~ Maybe." Hanbin nod his head unwillingly. 

After awhile, Raesung and the other two excuse themselves and went to Rae's studio. Jaewon decided to stay with Hanbin. 

"So, mind to tell me what happen? You're not being yourself right now." Jaewon make a move trying to lure Hanbin with his question. 

"No, hyung. I just don't feel like talking right now. Can you please leave me alone? I promise I'll be okay the next morning. Don't worry." Hanbin trying to convince Jaewon to get out from his studio. 

"Oh okay then. We'll meet up tomorrow okay. Don't think too much. Everything will be fine." Jaewon pat Hanbin's shoulder before leaving the studio. 

Hanbin lock his door then lay on the couch lazily. 

"I need to keep myself away from Jiwon. He has been uncomfortable with me, I shouldn't try to touch or being clingy with him anymore. He make me feel stupid by saying that during broadcast. Why didn't he just tell me when it's just the two of us? Now, I'm the one who feel embarrassed. Like I'm the one who really in need of some affection. Ughhh!"

Hanbin trying to find some solution for this mess up one sided love. He already felt humiliated by Jiwon not knowing the real reasons. Hanbin could never confess to Jiwon anymore. He'll let his feeling go without any confession. That's it. 

"I still have other member to be close anyway. I have Jaewon too and my other funny friends. They don't even have any problems of me being touchy or clingy. They even show me good affection though. I'll be okay without Jiwon. Let's do this. This is nothing. I'm all good." Hanbin mumbles trying to convince himself. 

\------------------------------------------

"Jiwon. Can you tell me now? Huh?" Jinhwan talk nicely to Jiwon don't want to add another hurt feeling. 

"You know, hyung. I just made up of how I feel embarrased on how Hanbin being touchy, clingy or the so-called flirting thingy. I'm trying to push him away from me. I feel that I have fell in love with Hanbin. Not kind of family love. It's like a man in love with a woman kind of love. I know this kind sound so ridiculous, but I can't control myself. I don't know what to do hyung." Jiwon still sobbing while explaining himself to Jinhwan. 

Jinhwan was totally speechless. He never thought Jiwon would feeling this way to Hanbin. Trying to cheer Jiwon up, Jinhwan tease Jiwon, "Why on earth you don't fell in love with me then? I look pretty good though with long hair. I'm not that clingy. Yeah, I am that perfect one for you. Hahahaha." Jinhwan laughing at his own words. 

Jiwon smirk, "Because you're not Hanbin, silly NOONA." 

"What?! I'm not that good enough for you? What Hanbin has that I don't have? You better tell me!" Jinhwan keep teasing Jiwon and trying to lighten the mood. 

"I, myself sometimes don't understand myself though. What I really want. What i really need. People see Hanbin and I have a very compactible chemistry on stage. While I doubt it myself. I don't even think we're meant to be together." Jiwon couldn't help feeling hurt when he said that. 

Jiwon has always been true to himself, his family, his members and fans. He will always make it possible for everything that against all odds. But when comes to this sort of feeling - you know - falling in love - with a man - his own leader, he doesn't know what he should do or how he should react. 

Jiwon has the urge to tell Hanbin his feelings. But he don't think he can accept the possibilities of Hanbin's answer - YES or NO and more that he don't know whether Hanbin likes men too. He once ever said, if the girl said no, then it's a no. Easier said than done, he guess. 

When he realised he fell in love is when he starts want Hanbin to only touch him and clingy to him which he ends up being jealous when Hanbin doing so with the others. But, it still acceptable when it was around his members. Not to Hanbin's friends. He's kinda jealous when Hanbin stay too much at the studio, spending time with his friends. 

Literally, Jiwon trying to ease down his feeling. Maybe his has this feeling towards Hanbin just because they have been spending time together for so long and he thought they understand each other more tha anyone else. And one more thing why he also decided to push Hanbin away eventhough his decision will hurt both of them, it's Yang sajang-nim. 

"You know, hyung. This morning, I went to Sajang-nim's office. Asides from discussing about my solo album, there was something Sajang-nim asking me to do." Jiwon decided to tell this to his hyung. Jinhwan hyung has always been there for him, like Hanbin. 

"Oh what is it? Everything's fine right with your album? He's not gonna delay your solo again right? You've been waiting for this, Jiwon ah." It's totally unacceptable if Sajang-nim trying to push Jiwon's solo. Not again. This solo was way long overdue. 

"No no no no, hyung. Everything will go as what we planned. You guys even heard all of my songs too. So, don't worry about that. It will come out at the right time even though there is uncertainty. Hahaha." Jiwon convince his hyung. 

"So, tell me! Don't left me hanging dude! This kid!" Jinhwan starts to feel impatient with Jiwon as if there was more serious matters will come out from Jiwon. 

"Sajang-nim told me to distant myself from Hanbin. He felt that we both being too close to each other will make no room of improvement in terms of Hanbin's in producing his songs. He thought of Hanbin's way of expressing his demo has something to do with me." Jiwon start to tear up. 

"I was shocked though. I asked Sajang-nim why he's telling this to me, not to us both Hanbin. He said I'm more approachable than Hanbin. More to say, Hanbin is way more stubborn than me. Hanbin wouldn't listen." 

"Hyung, I love Hanbin so much that I'm willing to do anything for him even if by doing all of that will hurt me. Or Hanbin. You know how much effort Hanbin in putting up all of this together to make us continue this journey. I wouldn't put his efforts into waste. He deserves more than this. Even Sajang-nim hardly praise him." Jiwon choke up at his last words.

"I'm being mean with what I said earlier during broadcast, so that he will distance himself from me. He will be okay with that, I'm sure of it. It's not that Hanbin love me. So, he can move on easily. And I'm okay with him being touchy with you guys eventhough I hate it. Hahahaha." Jiwon trying to laugh at his own jokes but Jinhwan is not a fool to accept Jiwon's jokes. 

Jinhwan pulls Jiwon into his hug and without any minutes, Jiwon burst into tears again. 

"I'm sorry Jiwon ah. I can't help you anything with this. I never thought Sajang-nim actually will say those mean words to you. You and Hanbin, both, deserve to be happy. And I think you should tell Hanbin though about your feeling. Confess to him. Take the chance and don't regret later." Jinhwan hugging Jiwon wouldn't let him go. All Jiwon need right now is comfort.

"Not now, hyung. You should understand why. Hanbin right now, he feel more pressure about another comeback. We've been waiting for our next comeback. We've been spending too much time abroad, not performing in our own country. Hanbin's trying his best to come out with something new and refreshing. I don't want him to mess up his momentum. I'll be fine, hyung. Don't worry." Jiwon took Jinhwan's hand, trying hard to tell Jinhwan everything will be fine. 

Jinhwan decided they both should just sleep in the living room. Jinhwan don't want to bother the rest of members.

All Jiwon can do for now is pray. Praying everything will be fine. Praying that Hanbin will be okay. 

\- [ ] 

During the second episode of Konic TV, it was so obvious that Hanbin & Jiwon trying to keep distance with each other. With them ignoring each other, there come comments from the fans who noticed about the situation. 

1\. "Jiwon, serve you right. It's you who started it first. And now, Hanbin wouldn't even come close next to you." 

2\. "Pity Hanbin. What's wrong with him being too affectionate to Jiwon though? Jiwon shouldn't mention it during broadcast. Of course Hanbin will be pissed off. "

3\. "Double B is dead, everyone. Here comes, OneBin." 

And the comments goes on. Jiwon read all of it. He kept it to himself. I'm okay, Jiwon telling himself. 

And for the rest of the other episodes, both of them keep minimum contact with each other.


	3. Tear Apart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short updates! :)

A few weeks after.

All the members decided to watch Get-It-Beauty together. It's Hanbin, Mino & Jaewon apperance together for the first time. 

Jiwon don't want to watch it at first. But Jinhwan pulls him, telling him to go just with the flow. 

During one of the segment, Hanbin was asked to reenact a scene from his favorite drama 'Fight My Way' with one of the host. 

"How I wish I was the woman though. Being that close and hug by Hanbin, oh, how I miss Hanbin's touch." Jiwon say it in his heart and sigh.

Then, the next segment, Hanbin was seen seems like he grinding Jaewon during one of the dance session. It's like they were in their own world doesn't care about people around them. 

Jiwon watched enough so he decided to just go to his studio.

"I'm out of here. I just remember I have something to do. Bye." Jinhwan tried to pull and stop Jiwon but Jiwon doesn't even care. 

"Let him be, hyung. He's getting too much lately. Not listening to us, don't even care our feeling. Why bother?" Hanbin carelessly spit out his anger. 

"Yah ~ Hanbin ah. Don't say that about Jiwon." Jinhwan trying to cover up for Jiwon. 

"What, hyung? It's the truth right? I said nothing wrong here." Hanbin became angrier when Jinhwan trying to defend Jiwon. 

Jiwon heard all of it but he couldn't say anything. He chosed to be in this situation. It's what he deserved anyway. He walked out of the dorms and went straight to his studio. 

"Hanbin ah. Are you okay? I mean, are you and Jiwon both okay? You both seem out of it lately. You're not getting along though like you always did." Yunhyeong make a move and seated next to Hanbin. 

"Of course I'm okay, hyung. There's nothing wrong with me. Nothing's wrong with Jiwon hyung too. We both just fine. Well, he did mentioned he hate me being so flirty or whatever it is. It's good that we keep it this way for now, isn't it?" Hanbin looked at Yunhyeong confuse because he wonder why his hyung been asking that stupid question. 

The maknaes didn't even dare to say any words. They're not in the position to point out what's happening around lately. Not right infront of their leader.

"Hanbin ah. Don't you think you should - " Jinhwan trying to have a moment with Hanbin but being cut off by Hanbin's phone.

"Yes, Won hyung... Sure, let's heading there right now. I'll see you in 15. Bye." Hanbin got up from his seat and tell the members to rest while he'll be heading out to have dinner with Jaewon and Raesung. 

"He's mad with Jiwon hyung, right? Jiwon hyung too not in his right state of mind. I never see Jiwon hyung in such way." Chanwoo says what should be said. 

"What happen, Jinhwan hyung? Yunhyeong hyung? I miss my bunny hyung though." Chanwoo can't help being sad with both Hanbin and Jiwon separate in their own world. 

"Chanwoo ah -" Yunhyeong calmly hugged their maknae on top while looking at Jinhwan. 

"Let's rest, shall we?" Jinhwan don't want to explain more as he promised Jiwon not to tell anyone. 

"It's got to do with what Jiwon hyung said on the broadcast, right hyung?" Donghyuk finally speak up. He can't take it anymore. 

"The other night, I saw him in the studio - crying. It's not like Jiwon hyung though. He's always been tough - inside out eventhough everyone know he's a softie. He looked at me and told me that everything went wrong and it's totally his fault. I couldn't asked more since he got up and walked away from me." Donghyuk told the rest. 

"I couldn't think what's gone wrong but then I saw his iPad on the table. And i saw that he's reading the comments from fans. You know how the fans always making video about us, like some sort of compilations. Jiwon hyung read all the comments on how he's being harsh with Hanbin hyung. On how Jiwon hyung should make up for his mistake. On how Jiwon hyung shouldn't humiliate Hanbin hyung." Donghyuk looked at Jinhwan, "You knew 'bout this, right Jinhwan hyung? Besides Hanbin hyung, you're the closest to him. Eventhough he and I would stuck up together, up to one point, there's something he wouldn't share with me." Donghyuk feel sad knowing the main core of his beloved group started to grows apart. He don't like one bit of it. 

Hanbin and Jiwon has been the beer and chicken combi. The perfect match was the nickname for them. No one can beat that. Each of the members acknowledged that too. No matter how many ships that the fans created for them (which they totally aware of - because the chemistry each of the members), Hanbin and Jiwon are unbeatable. 

"We'll talk about this later okay. We'll find the perfect time to talk about this together, as a group." Jinhwan convince the members. 

"Everything will be fine. Don't worry okay." Jinhwan smiling hiding his sadness.


	4. The First Time

"Hanbin, can we talk? All of us. Together." Jinhwan has been waiting for this. He found the perfect time. It's his time to step up and do his part as their hyung. Jinhwan has passed the message to the rest of the members and asked Donghyuk to bring Jiwon out from his studio since now studio has became his second home, just like Hanbin.

"Emm - okay." Hanbin casually agree not knowing his hyung's intention. 

Jiwon and Donghyuk was the last one came in while the rest already waiting in the living room.

"What's up? Anything serious?" Jiwon started the conversation. 

"Jiwon ah. Hanbin ah." Jinhwan carefully calling their names.

Both Jiwon and Hanbin looked at their hyung confuse wondering what's going on.

"You know lately, all of us have been noticing both of you were quite distance though. Mind to tell us why?" Jiwon throw a glance to Jinhwan but Jinhwan ignore him.

"Nothing, hyung." Hanbin the first one to answer. 

"What make you guys think so? We both were all good though." Hanbin trying to point out what's coming through his mind.

"Hanbin. Listen. We've been together longer than you know. You and I, including Jiwon are the longest knowing each other. You think I wouldn't know if something happen? You've been acting out of it. Jiwon too." Jinhwan being impatient making his heart swell up with these two kids.

"You thought we don't notice on how you both has been ignoring each other now? How you started to point out every Jiwon's mistake during practice which you rarely do in the past years? How even Jiwon's small mistake coming five mins late for practice and you look like you ready to throw a fight? You forgot the fact that normally it's you who came late during practice but we managed to take it coolly knowing you been locked yourself in the studio?" Jinhwan point out everything possible letting both them know what's going on right now.

"Jiwon ah." Yunhyeong takes turn with Jinhwan to talk to both of them while the rest continue listening.

"If there are anything you would like us to know, you should tell us. We're more willingly to listen. We're not just friends. We're family. And you is the one who really love the ideas of being as close as family in this group. But why -" Yunhyeong started to choke up. He tried to control his tears and continue. 

"I don't like to see you both this way. Hanbin ah. If you're actually affected by what Jiwon said before on hating you about you being so touchy, shouldn't you try to talk with him about it? Who knows he only mean it as a joke? Jiwon, you too. You both should work it out. You're the hyung eventhough Hanbin is our leader. Talk to him." Yunhyeong trying to make it up for them.

"I - I" Hanbin stuttered not knowing on how to put the words accordingly.

"I guess it was my mistake after all." Jiwon took the first step. 

"I didn't have any intention to push Hanbin away though. It just me. The problem is me. I'm not feeling myself lately." Jiwon trying to cover up the actual fact on why this actually happen to both of them. 

"I feel stupid. I got myself caught reading all the comments about us. What others think about us." Jiwon continue but interrupted by Hanbin.

"Oh for goodness sake, hyung. Since when though? You don't even care in the past. Stop with your nonsense. Just be honest. You don't like having me around, don't you? You're tired of me, don't you?" Hanbin kept throwing questions to Jiwon not letting Jiwon to explain.

"The comments was there even before we debut. Why now? I don't need your excuses. Yeah, I'm mad because you should tell me direct to my face if you're being uncomfortable around me. Why should you let the entire world know that you hate the skinship? The hyungs and maknaes were all okay though. Out of all people, why is it must be come out from you?" Hanbin just said whatever that has been stucked in his mind these few weeks. 

"We promised if there is anything we feel uncomfortable with, we should point it out and try any ways to solve it - by hook or by crook. Guess you forgot 'bout it, right Jiwon hyung?" Hanbin wanted answers from Jiwon, he can't bear with Jiwon being silent.

"Jiwon -" Jinhwan tried to help Jiwon but Jiwon not letting him. Jiwon shook his head and smile to Jinhwan to assure him it's okay. Chanwoo caught both of them and he knows definitely there's something Jiwon hiding from them.

"Hanbin ah. I'm sorry. I should apologize to you sooner. It was my fault. I'm sorry. Forgive me okay." Jiwon wanted to settle this. He couldn't be in this space so long. He need to get out from this place. 

"So, you don't even care to answer me huh? Could you please just for this time, for once, don't run away? Tell me what's the problem." Hanbin begs Jiwon to answer him. 

Jiwon look at Jinhwan not knowing what to say. He don't want to make up another excuse or even lies just to answer Hanbin. But what other choice he has?

"I'm giving you all the time Jiwon hyung. To answer me. All I need is answer. To be honest, I don't think any of these was my fault. You started this mess." Hanbin wanted Jiwon to be angry which probably will makes Jiwon telling all of them his reasons. 

"Can we just drop this? I'm sorry, Hanbin ah. Please. I don't hate your affection, it just I - maybe you can slow it down on me. Give some space to me. Just between us. Err - what I mean is try to avoid being too public. I don't like the attention." Jiwon giving his fine reasoning (well, at least for him) hoping Hanbin will take it nicely. 

"So, you're uncomfortable with me? All of these years? You don't like me being close to you? Why now, hyung?" Hanbin wants a clear answer from Jiwon. Nothing more, nothing less. 

"Oh God! Hanbin ah. Please. Just please. Why don't you understand?" Hanbin cuts off Jiwon even before his finish.

"Then you should tell me why!!" Hanbin starts yelling at Jiwon.

"I have enough of you, hyung! I gave you all the time and space for you to come to me, explaining to me exactly what happen. You're happy now we're start fighting? Is this what you want?!" Hanbin couldn't hold it anymore. He can't control his anger. 

Everyone panic with Hanbin being too emotional. Jinhwan try to calm Hanbin. Hanbin move forward to Jiwon and punch Jiwon right on his face. Jiwon felt hurt. This is the first time though. 

"Serve you right. You deserve this. I've given you the chance. But you miss it. Now I don't even understand why you're being part of this group." Hanbin clenched his fist. He was really ready to fight Jiwon but Jiwon don't even move. He only see blood slowly coming through from Jiwon's lips. Jinhwan was standing in the middle trying to stop Hanbin.

"I'm sorry. I should just go." Jiwon quickly turn and went out from the dorm. 

No one dare to move to catch up with Jiwon. Maybe it's better Jiwon stays alone for now. 

Hanbin sat on the couch crying. He knew this time it's him who mess up. He know he shouldn't do that. 

"What did I just do to Jiwon hyung?" Hanbin cry harder. 

"You're crossing the line this time, Hanbin. Do you even realised you're throwing questions to Jiwon don't even bother to hear him explaining for himself?" Jinhwan was still shocked with what happen right infront of them. For the first time, in six years, this is the worst fight they ever had. 

"What now hyung? So you're defending Jiwon hyung? Tell me hyung. What did Jiwon hyung tell you? I need to know." Hanbin hold tight to Jinhwan's wrist. 

"I'm sorry, Jiwon ah. I should keep my promise. But this is getting worse." Jinhwan whisper to himself but Hanbin still can hear him. 

"What promise, hyung?" Hanbin wipe his tears looking at Jinhwan.

Jinhwan sigh.


	5. The Truth

"Promise me, after all of this, please forgive Jiwon. Eventhough right now you're the one need to apologise. He's trying to protect you. More than anything else, if he could die for you, he is willingly to do that to save you. To save all of us too." Jinhwan think he did exaggerated a lil' bit but who cares. 

Everyone was surprise to hear Jinhwan and nervously waiting for Jinhwan to continue. 

"It's sajang-nim. Jiwon met sajang-nim last few weeks during his discussion on his solo album. Sajang-nim told Jiwon to distant himself from Hanbin. He thought Jiwon always being next to Hanbin result Hanbin's lack of skills of producing. Hanbin will not have room of improvement if Jiwon always stick to Hanbin. Sajang-nim told Jiwon is more approachable than Hanbin and Hanbin more likely stubborn and won't listen to him if he said so." Jinhwan take a deep breath before he continue. Hanbin was of course shocked hearing this. 

"Before Jiwon slept the other night after telling me this, he said sajang-nim requested him to tone down a lil' bit of - you know how Jiwon is. He outshine the rest of the members. Sajang-nim read the comments too. He pointed out how some netizens only know B.I X Bobby, but not the rest of the members. You know, this totally not Jiwon's fault though. Not even your fault, Hanbin ah. It's the company has set the limit and we can't do more." 

"Jiwon cried to sleep, you know how he is always sleep talking, he mumbled saying maybe he should never do his solo album. He don't deserve this. He should let other members shine too. To show the fans what we're capable of. He's been keeping this to himself for awhile." 

"Jiwon don't want your effort being wasted, Hanbin ah. He knew how pressure you are in pushing to have comebacks, to come out with good songs. He don't want to crush everyone's dream and hope. He don't want you to lose your momentum. So, he took the step which only hurt you both." 

"What I hate the most is, Sajang-nim knew Jiwon's weakness. Jiwon's weakness has always been you, Hanbin. Sajang-nim knew Jiwon will always protect you. So, I thought maybe that's why he brought up the topic to Jiwon. He knew Jiwon would do anything for us. To keep us together. What sajang-nim doesn't know, Jiwon has been pushed over his limit that might hurt himself. Sajang-nim should talk to you if he thought of improving your skills. But he used Jiwon. And Jiwon as usual lacks of skills to express himself - which we all can see - has been using stupid ways in putting a gap between you both." 

Jinhwan feel relieve after telling them everything and now he feel panic on Jiwon's response if he know the secret being expose. 

"Oh my. Where should I run though? Jiwon gonna hunt me down for sure. Nevermind, worry about that later." Jinhwan whisper to himself while scratching his head. 

Jinhwan heard somebody sniffing. Oh okay. Hanbin, Donghyuk and Yunhyeong are crying. Junhoe and Chanwoo - oh well, maknae on top. They both good at hiding their tears. 

"No no no no. Why are you guys crying? Yahhhh!! Stop it." Jinhwan being panic not knowing whom he need to hug first. 

"Well who will not cry after hearing that, stupid hyung? Or should we be laughing at this? " Donghyuk glaring at Jinhwan.

"Except the two unbothered maknaes, of course." Donghyuk giggles.

"Kim Donghyuk! I'm the eldest, how dare you to call me stupid?! You've live long enough, don't you?" Jinhwan throw the pillow to Donghyuk. 

Jinhwan turns to Hanbin who still sobbing like a baby and hold Hanbin's hand. 

"You know, find some time to talk to Jiwon. I don't know if he want to see you after what you have done. Please try to understand him. Talk to him. Tell him what you feel. And trust me, this is something personal. You need to trust your heart. You both should trust your heart. Everything will be fine. We're here for you." Jinhwan smiles at Hanbin's being confuse. 

"I don't think he will talk to me anymore. Those harsh words I've said. I couldn't take it back. Saying why I don't understand him being part of the group. I shouldn't said that. You guys know right how much I love all of you." Hanbin asking for assurance from the members. 

"We know, Hanbin ah. But, right now only you can step up and solve the mess between you and Jiwon. Jiwon has been the happiest and our moodmaker in this group. After all of this, we've ben hit up by Jiwon has been hiding all of that behind his smile. The struggle he kept to himself, he don't want to drag us along. He's doing his best to cheer us up. You ever said how his smile saved you from your hard time. That applies to us too. The comfort he gave us, no one can beat that. Even me." Yunhyeong says. 

Yunhyeong know that everyone see him as the brightest member, who gave the members comfort whenever they need him. But for Yunhyeong, he admit that Jiwon play his part well too. Jiwon was there for him when he thought that everything did not went well, when he felt he still lacking in everything. Jiwon gave him the assurance that he will do well. 

"Talk to him, Hanbin. We can't keep the mess any longer. We are family. I hate us being like this. I know we often fight but the end of the day we laughed it off because there's no way we can be mad at each other more than a day. But this, this is the first time, you know physical fight eventhough Jiwon didn't fight back." Yunhyeong hug Hanbin just to make him feel better. 

"Yes, hyung. Give me back my bunny hyung. I need him back. I hate him pretending he's fine and act like nothing happen. I need him to play games with me." Chanwoo acting like he's sulky with his Hanbin hyung. 

"I'm not gonna buy you any choco-cone anymore. Not until you bring back my bunny - hyung." Chanwoo tease Hanbin.

"Yah Jung Chanwoo!" Jinhwan and Yunhyeong yelling at the same time. The maknaes are laughing with the hyungs being hyped up. 

"I know. I should find him now though. Do you think his face will get swollen? I did saw a lil' bit of blood on his lips." Hanbin getting worried about Jiwon not knowing how he should meet Jiwon. 

"Why don't we call Jaeho hyung? I think he might be somewhere near the studio. Maybe he saw Jiwon." Jinhwan pulls out his phone and call Jaeho hyung. 

"Thank you, hyung." Hanbin smile at Jinhwan, being thankful having the members besides him at times like this. But now Jiwon being alone, Hanbin can't help to feel how they being unfair towards Jiwon. He has members to comfort him meanwhile Jiwon that struggles alone had no one he can run to. 

"Hanbin ah. Jaeho hyung said Jiwon's in the studio. I think you should go now." Jinhwan told Hanbin. 

"Oh okay. Thanks, hyung!" Hanbin got up from his seat and went to get his jacket before he leave the dorm.


	6. Tell Me

Jiwon feels lonely. He didn't blame the members for not catching up with him. He think this will be much better. All he want to do right now is being alone. 

He sighed at the thought of Hanbin said about him being in this group. 

Not even once he ever feel regret having them in their life. He loves them. 

He stays on his seat looking at his computer. He thought of giving up with his solo. Maybe this is the sign. That this is not the right time for him. After all, the company haven't announce on his solo album to the public. So, he think it will be okay to cancel the solo. 

He heard someone's knocking on his door. He don't even bother to open. He's tired. Mentally and physically tired. But that unknown keep on knocking and even sing - 

"Do you want to build a snowman?  
Come on lets go and play.

I never see you anymore  
Come out the door  
It's like you've gone away." 

And it's Hanbin. Jiwon groaned and shout, "Dude, it's summer! No one on earth would even want to build a snowman right now except you. So just go back." Jiwon rolls his eyes and there goes he's whining because of the pain on his face. 

"Jiwonnie. Please open the door. For me. Pretty please." Hanbin begs Jiwon. 

Jiwon melts at Hanbin being a softie. Told you, Jiwon will never ever be mad at Hanbin. Even after a big fight. 

Jiwon gets up to open the door and he says "5 mins then go. I wanted to be alone." Jiwon ignoring Hanbin and lying on his couch. 

"I - I brought ice. Emm - for your face." Hanbin stuttered. He's nervous. 

Jiwon keep silent. How he wish he can hug Hanbin now. He need Hanbin's comfort.

"Hyung. Look at me. Please. I'm begging you. Please talk to me. Don't ignore me." Hanbin wanted to cry. 

"What else do you want? I've nothing to say. You've said enough. I accept whatever you said, whatever you do. So, just stop this. I don't want to hurt you anymore." Jiwon finally talk. 

"Well, at least let me help you with the ice." Hanbin moves closer to Jiwon. 

"Just leave the ice. I'll do it later." Jiwon don't want to get closer to Hanbin. Not now. 

Hanbin pulls the chair and sit close to Jiwon. He don't listen to Jiwon. Hanbin being Hanbin. Stubborn. Hard-headed.

"If you gonna do it yourself, you should be done by now. But look at you." Hanbin glare at Jiwon. 

Jiwon ignore Hanbin. He close his eyes. Hanbin will just do whatever he want. He won't listen anyway.

Hanbin sigh. Hanbin slowly move the ice pack to Jiwon's face. 

"Argh!" Jiwon whining and staring at Hanbin giving him warning to slow it down. 

"I did it slowly though." Hanbin whisper to himself. 

"Thanks to you, you've ruined my pretty visual." Jiwon gave up being silent. How can he resist being so close with Hanbin. He miss Hanbin so much. 

Hanbin chuckles upon hearing Jiwon finally speak up. 

"Jiwonnie. I miss you." Hanbin shyly confess to Jiwon. 

"Hyung. It's Jiwon hyung. I'm still older than you, kid." Jiwon tease Hanbin with serious face on. 

"Like you ever act like one. You're just kid like Chanwoo." Hanbin roll his eyes. 

"Language, Kim Hanbin." Jiwon acting strict with his Hanbinnie. 

"5 mins up. You may go now. I think you're done. Thanks." Jiwon wanted Hanbin to leave because he thought Hanbin just would like to check him up. As a leader. 

"No. I'm not done yet. Let me stay here." Hanbin pout at Jiwon. 

"Is there anything else you wanted to say? If yes, do it now. If you don't, so move. I'm tired." Jiwon praying Hanbin will say yes. He wanted to look more at Hanbin. How he miss being alone with Hanbin but his stupid self will not admit it. 

"Err - I came to say sorry. Jinhwan done with the explaination. Now, I'm regret with everything I've said." Hanbin don't dare to look at Jiwon. 

(Can you imagine how Jiwon's small eyes can actually open so wide like the eye balls are ready to jump out? Okay, I exaggerated a lil' bit. Let's move back to the story.)

Jiwon jump out from his couch. 

"What did hyung said? What did he told all of you? I swear to God - this tiny hyung - I'm going to hunt him down" Jiwon looking for his phone wanted to call Jinhwan and don't even care the pain on his face.

"Hey hyung. Chill." Hanbin laughing at Jiwon's reaction. 

"You guys not suppose to know about this. Wait, what did Jinhwan hyung told you?" Jiwon realised Hanbin don't even start on the details. Yet. Okay. Stupid him. Overreaction. 

"Err - okay. He told us about sajang-nim." Hanbin just about to say more but here goes Kim Jiwon impatiently interrupt Hanbin. Again. 

"Up to which point?" Jiwon nervously asked. 

"Well, about how you wanted distant yourself from me. How you outshine the rest of the members. How you wanted to give up your solo - wait." Hanbin looking at Jiwon's computer. 

"Please don't tell me you've deleted your work, hyung." Hanbin asking Jiwon praying he didn't delete his works. 

"I almost delete it though. Right before this annoying person came knocking at my door and sang disney song. So, yeah. ALMOST." Jiwon shrugged his shoulders. 

"You - What?! Seriously, Kim Jiwon? Huh. I can't believe you. What do you mean you almost delete your hardwork? Goodness sake, hyung." Hanbin can't believe what Jiwon almost did. If only he's 90s, bet he will get heart attack. And die. And may not rest in peace. Drama. 

"I don't remember I ever told Jinhwan hyung about that. Weird." Jiwon was confused. 

"You're a weirdo. Sleep talking. Thats what Jinhwan hyung said." Hanbin shakes his head thinking how can he fall in love with this guy. This weird guy.

"Okay. Please move on. You're taking too much time." Jiwon waiting for Hanbin's explaination. 

"It's you who interrupted me, dude. Okay what next? Oh I guess he mentioned until the solo part only." Hanbin laughing at his own words then stop when Jiwon looking at him like he's crazy. 

"Jiwon hyung. I'm so sorry for what I've said. Sorry for what I did earlier. I mean - I punched you." Hanbin making sad face and sat next to Jiwon. 

"You should've tell me everything. Shouldn't hide from me about sajang-nim. I know how much you wanted to protect us. Please don't think you're the reason I'm lacking in what I do. It's up to me how to improve myself." Hanbin try to touch Jiwon's hand and Jiwon let him. Yes, Hanbin likes how finally he can touch his babyung. 

"Up to one point, I do agree with sajang-nim." Jiwon sighed and Hanbin quitely listening. 

"The public maybe know iKON. But who's in iKON, I doubted about it though. I feel sorry to the rest of the members. When sajang-nim pointed this out for me, it does hurt me. I should care more about the members. I should say no for the solo. I should help the members to shine more, to show the world what we were made of. I don't want you to struggle alone. Many thoughts came to my mind." Jiwon sighed. 

"Shall we both tone down a bit? I mean, be with the others, not us being stuck together. Don't take it wrong, Hanbin ah. It's not that I don't like you. Us being mingle around the other members, show them support, show them what they're capable of so that they will gain more confidence. People may see how confidence we are on stage. But the truth is, the members are still doubting their skills and talents. The insecurities if not being help, will eat them up. I don't want that to happen." Jiwon holding tight to Hanbin's hand not wanting to let go. Trying to make Hanbin believe his real intention. 

"And you too. Since you have your funny friends, I support you being friends with them. They will help you for sure. Rae are way too talented in making music. Although I did feel jealous when you're too close with Jaewon hyung. But I know you will do well" Jiwon look away don't let Hanbin see his face become red. 

"Let us give some space to each other, okay?" Jiwon asked Hanbin. 

"Jiwonnie." Hanbin look at Jiwon.

"How can you be so calm? After all of this? After what sajang-nim told you? After I punched you? Even after no one running after you when you walk out from the dorm? I would be mad though. I won't forgive easily eventhough I ever said I don't hate anyone. You've struggling all alone. The pressure must be hard." Hanbin still want answer from Jiwon for all of his questions. He want to know everything. 

Jiwon was torn between telling the truth about his feeling or should maintain the relationship the way it is. Because the truth how he caught out with all of this having doubts with everything and YG only adding fuel to the fire - it's his love for Hanbin. He's willing to sacrifice for Hanbin. But this has been put him on stress level that he can't handle. Jiwon don't know what to expect from Hanbin. 

Is this the right time?


	7. The Bonds

"Hanbinnie. What if I say I'm doing this for one main reason? Will you just accept whatever the reason is?" Jiwon look at Hanbin's eyes. The eyes that always calm him. 

"You know how I am, hyung. I need a valid reason to accept or say a yes. You can't fool me. It's a no no no." Hanbin tell Jiwon. 

"Then, I'm not telling you. Simple as that." Jiwon smirk. 

"Aaaa hyung. Why do you left me hanging? I want to know why. So tell me why. Should I show you some aegyo? You know I don't do aegyo." Hanbin blinks his eyes in a cute way. 

"Hahahaha. Funny. Like I care." Jiwon flustered by Hanbin sudden aegyo. 

"Jiwonnie. My beloved babyung. Tell me." Hanbin still trying his best to let Jiwon answer his question. 

"Stop that Kim Hanbin. Why you're so eager want to know the reason though? What do you expect my answer is?" Jiwon asked Hanbin. 

"You're doing this because you love me, right? Jinhwan hyung told me that I'm your biggest weaknesses. Well, seriously if sajang-nim told you to stay away from me, why must you agree to him? There's no need to protect me hyung. You know how capable I am protecting this group. There's must be something that sajang-nim said to you makes you acted this way and makes you agree." Hanbin wanted to elaborate more on his reasoning but Jiwon choked at Hanbin's first sentence. 

"It's really nothing, Hanbinnie. Trust me. Maybe the insecurities in me makes me feel worse and I've been struggle with the album, so yeah, it's nothing. You heard it all from Jinhwan hyung." Jiwon nervously convince Hanbin hoping him will just trust him. He's not gonna tell Hanbin about his feeling. Just let it be. He will be okay. 

"Are you having a trust issue with me right now, Binnie? " Hanbin shocked at Jiwon's sudden question.

"Am I?" Hanbin doubted at himself too. This was so sudden. He never think it that way. 

"I'm fine. Don't worry about me. Just like I said earlier just put some space between us for now, shall we? If you refuse to, just don't make it obvious to the public or infront of sajang-nim. Keep it to ourself. Okay?" Jiwon look at Hanbin and Hanbin nods his head. 

"Please just don't ignore me. I hate the feeling being ignore by you. No matter how close am I around other members or best friends, you know I'm always coming back to you. The clicks between us was unbelievable. I can't deny that though, Jiwonnie." Hanbin said that in a soft voice and lean his head on Jiwon's shoulder. He misses this moment so much. These past few weeks has been tough. For the both of them. 

"I know, Hanbinnie. More than anyone I'm aware of it." Jiwon put his head on top of Hanbin's. 

"I miss you, hyung. I may never say this to you, but thank you for being here. I'm forever grateful." Hanbin close his eyes and appreciate this beautiful moment. He loves being this close with Jiwon. Eventhough he can't confess his feeling yet for now, but having Jiwon back is more worthy than anything. 

"We'll talk with the members tomorrow okay. Talk about this all over again. About your solo, it's time. Get ready. Drop it anytime soon. We're here for you. We understand how much this album means to you." Hanbin smile at Jiwon. 

Hanbin know how much effort Jiwon has invest in this album. He maybe not know from where Jiwon got his inspiration unlike himself besides poems and dramas, everyone knew Hanbin's muse. Hanbin wondered if Jiwon too has his secret muse. 

"Let's talk about that tomorrow, shall we? I'm tired. You too. Just let's head back to the dorm. I need my beautiful sleep." Jiwon winks at Hanbin. There goes Hanbin feeling shy. 

\------------------------------------------

"So, everything settle down?" Jinhwan talks first when they gathered at the dorm the next morning.

"You're good right, my bunny hyung?" Chanwoo look at Jiwon, holding Jiwon's arm with his cute chubby face. 

"I'm good. Just a light bruise. Still swollen. But don't worry, I'm good." Jiwon smile and pat Chanwoo's head. Jiwon has always have this soft spot for Chanwoo. He don't mind Chanwoo being that maknae on top with him. He'll just let Chanwoo do everything or anything to him and he still okay with it. 

Unlike Donghyuk. Everyone know besides him and Jinhwan, Donghyuk is the second person who earns the nickname of Tom and Jerry. 

And Junhoe. The members have been saying Junhoe are awkward with Jiwon meanwhile Jiwon who like to tease him saying he likes everything about Junhoe. 

Jinhwan and Yunhyeong being the reliable hyung. Jiwon miss all of these. It's been awhile he feel this peaceful. 

No one can question their bond. No one can tear them apart. They will grow stronger than ever and prove to the world their everything. 

"Yes, everything settle down. We're good. We talked about it last night." Hanbin answered Jinhwan. Hanbin smiling happily and everyone can see his mood was so bright.

"Everything? About you and Jiwon, the members and the solo? And?" Jinhwan try to confirm something. 

"Yes, everything hyung. What else though?" Hanbin feeling confused. 

"Aaaaaa - okayy." Jinhwan look at Jiwon and Jiwon glaring at him sending some telepathic energy (as if) not to say anything. 

"So, what we have for the next broadcast?" Jiwon quickly turn for another topic.

"Oh. We've been discussing, maybe perhaps for next broadcast, Jiwon, Hanbin and Chanwoo should do it together. Chanwoo said he has been wanted to do the VR games with the both you. Hopefully that day Jiwon's face will be much better. If not, just put some make up on." Jinhwan chuckles knowing how much Jiwon hates make up.

"You're okay with that, hyung?" Hanbin asked Jiwon. Because he need to be more alert of Jiwon's feeling.

"Emm - sure. I think it's for the best. At least, the fans will not worry about me and Hanbin." Jiwon smiled at Hanbin and Hanbin obviously happy. 

"The comeback of the parents and their baby. Good timing." Yunhyeong claps his hands. 

Hanbin likes what he heard meanwhile Jiwon and Chanwoo pretending they heard nothing. 

"Oh. About Jiwon's solo. This dork almost did something terrible last night. I almost had a heart attack because of him. Stupid hyung. Can you believe him that he almost delete his entire works for his solo album?" Hanbin glaring at Jiwon and smirk. 'Serve you right. Let members bash at you for being stupid.' Hanbin speaks to himself. 

"Yah Kim Hanbin!"   
"Yah Kim Jiwon! You what?"

All of them yelled together in sync - five of the members to Jiwon and Jiwon to Hanbin. 

Jiwon sigh. "You're lucky that I love you. If not, by now I'll be kicking you out of the dorm." Jiwon speaks onto his heart. 

"Explain this Kim Jiwon! Now!" Jinhwan insist to know the truth from this stupid bunny. 

"Errr - Emm - I was a lil' bit out of my mind last night. Hehehe." Jiwon stuttered don't dare to move an inch. 

"But I didn't delete it. Trust me. I swear to God." Jiwon tells them. 

"Thanks to me. I came at the right time. I'm proud of myself. I'm the savior." Hanbin standing proud expecting getting applause from the members. 

Jiwon throws the pillow to Hanbin. 

"You're not expecting punches from me right, Kim Hanbin? Sit!" Jiwon instruct Hanbin and Hanbin like a tiny little cub obeys his beloved bunny hyung smiling sheepishly. 

"I'm so gonna kill you Kim Jiwon if that ever happen. You better release it anytime soon. Don't give up. We will support you." Jinhwan give Jiwon warning not to be stupid. AGAIN. 

"Yes, hyung." Jiwon smiles at Jinhwan. 

"And another thing." Hanbin turns to Jiwon before he continue. Jiwon nods as sign Hanbin should tell them. 

"You all know how close we are. We are brothers. Family. But somes see Jiwon hyung and I has outshined the rest of you where not many outside there know who's in iKON eventhough it's 2017 now. It's more like iKON only has B.I x Bobby. And they still question on the line distributions. Like most of it only me and him. I'm sorry that I still have a lot need to be improve. But you know how I do my songs. Each part of it was made for each of you. I know I may not being unfair especially to Chanwoo. But, one day you will see why. All of us are still lacking. We need to improve ourselves. Do whatever it is, vocal training, dance practice to sharpen you skills. Explore new things too." Hanbin told them hoping they will understand.

"In order to do that, Hanbin and I have decided that we both try to put some distant between us. Only to the public. To sajang-nim. We're still close anyway, don't worry. But sometimes will interact too so that it doesn't obvious. We both think that we should show more interactions with the rest of the members. Maybe like, with this brat." Jiwon pointing at Donghyuk and smirk trying to annoy him. 

"When Hanbin or I more focus with the members, the public maybe will notice that the existence of the members. Chanwoo himself ever questions whether he suits to be in this group. Don't doubt anything. Trust me, we're meant to be in this group. We'll find ways how they can recognize us as a whole - Hanbin, Jinhwan, Yunghyeong, Donghyuk, Junhoe, Chanwoo and myself too. Gives us some times. Let's take it slow and proves them who we are." Jiwon has always wanted iKON generally to be known as 7 members group. 

He never like the ideas of people arguing on how 'Oh it's Bobby. It's B.I. Why Chanwoo only two lines? Can't they give him more?' and more of others commenting on the rest of the members. It's these kind of comments that he thought will make the members doubting themselves.

"We're aware of that. Don't worry. We're good. It's none of your fault. You both has been exposed more to the public more than us even before debut. Especially Jiwon. We're grateful enough that you're not blinded by the fame. You keep being humble. That's what makes us push ourselves harder to be better." Jinhwan speaks on behalf of the rests. That's how reliable Jinhwan is eventhough he always has unexpected mood swings. Only Jiwon can handle him.

"So, we're all good?" Hanbin speaks seek for confirmation. 

"Of course. Jiwon, don't think too much. Everything will be okay. Don't worry, I'll annoy Hanbin with my love. So the attention will be on me. You just ignore his skinship. Hahahaha." Yunhyeong laughing at his own lame jokes. 

As usual, no one cares about Yunhyeong jokes. Yunhyeong rolls his eyes.

"Okay then. Now get ready for the practice. Don't be lazy. Come! We still need practice for the tour." Hanbin is in his leader mode. Listen to tigerbin. His face says so. 

The members acting like timid little kitten listening to tigerbin.

Hanbin laughing looking at them. 

"Stop it. Move faster." Hanbin walk to his room to change.

Jinhwan pulls Jiwon to his room.

"You haven't tell him?" Jinhwan expect Jiwon will tell Hanbin his feeling. 

"Tell him what?" Jiwon confuse.

"Your feeling. Did you tell him that you love him? You must be right? That's why Hanbin in good mood." Jinhwan holds Jiwon arms. He's excited and wanted to be the first one to know. 

"Tell me what?" Hanbin who happened to be outside Jinhwan's room listen it cleary. He just want a proper disclosure. He's nervous.

Jinhwan and Jiwon gasped.


	8. Confession

"Aaaaa - nothing - " Jiwon gulping. He can feel the sweats all over his body. 

"I heard all of your convos." Hanbin leans to the door. 

"Mind to tell me now?"? Hanbin acting like he got angry. Well, to make it more dramatic. 

Jinhwan make a move first. Heading outside. Jiwon holding tight to Jinhwan not letting him go. 

"It's now or never." Jinhwan whisper to Jiwon.

Now or never. 

Jiwon sigh. 

"We'll be going to the practice room first. Take your time. I'll tell them you both heads to convenience store later. Better buy something so they believe me." Jinhwan reminds them before leaving. 

"So? You're really keeping the secrets without me knowing? You even tell Jinhwan hyung, but not me? Wow! Amazing." Hanbin acting like he's angry with Jiwon. 

"Not again." Jiwon sigh. 

"Hanbin ah." Jiwon walks slowly to Hanbin. 

"I knew you've been hiding something from me but you won't tell me." Hanbin stays away from Jiwon. He's testing Jiwon. 

"What you heard just now - how should I tell you. Emm -" Jiwon scratching his head not knowing how to tell Hanbin.

"I'm waiting." Hanbin says annoyingly. 

Ok, here it is. Now or never. Jiwon take a deep breath and - 

"I love you, Kim Hanbin! Okay, I'm done." Jiwon without waiting for Hanbin to response quickly run to the bathroom and locked himself.

"Aaa - Omma. What did I just said? Will Hanbin hate me? Will Hanbin push me away? Oh God. What should I do? It's Jinhwan hyung's fault. Why did he even talk about this at the first place?" Jiwon going back and forth in the toilet. He don't want to see Hanbin right now.

"Jiwonnie. Open the door now. You're not going to listen to me singing another Disney song, don't you?" Hanbin tease Jiwon from outside. Hanbin can't believe what he heard. He loves the fact his babyung loves him too. So, it's not one-sided love afterall. 

"Should I sing 'Let it Go'? Which one do you prefer? Elsa or my version?" Hanbin keep teasing Jiwon. 

Jiwon open the door and rolls his eyes. 

"Don't you dare to sing any Disney songs to me anymore. It such a nightmare." Jiwon warns Hanbin.

"We should go now. We need to stop by at the convenience store. Or else Jinhwan hyung would be mad at us." Jiwon quickly grab his cap and put on his shoes. 

"You're not gonna hear me out, Jiwonnie?" Hanbin standing at Jiwon's back. 

Jiwon freeze at Hanbin's words. 

"He's gonna tell me he hate me, didn't he? He will reject me right? How should I react? Should I just laugh it off and says sorry I'm the weird one here? Oh God. Please help me. " Jiwon mumbling to himself don't even dare to turn to see Hanbin. 

Suddenly, Hanbin hugs Jiwon from the back. 

"Thank you hyung. For loving me. And - emm - I love you too. It always been you. No one else." Hanbin hides his face at Jiwon's back. Blushing. 

"For real, Hanbinnie? You're not joking, huh?" Jiwon surprise with the sudden backhug and confession. He's happy. Finally. He can breath easily. Knowing Hanbin loves him too. 

Hanbin nods his head. 

"I love you so much more than I can say." Hanbin tighten his hug. Jiwon smiling happily. 

"Not to ruin this moment. But I think we should go now.. We'll be late for the practice." Jiwon pulls Hanbin right infront of him. 

Hanbin being so shy and didn't dare to even look at Jiwon. 

"Thanks to you too, for loving me." Jiwon said and kiss Hanbin on the forehead. 

Hanbin closes his eyes and can't hide his smiles. 

"Let's go. We better hurry." Jiwon winks at Hanbin and holds his hand. 

\------------------------------------------  
Later that night.

"I want to sleep with you tonight, hyung." Hanbin pouts his lips at Jiwon. 

"Clingy." Jiwon shooks his head. 

"I can hear you." Hanbin pulls Jiwon's arm and place his head on it then hugs Jiwon. 

"Hanbin. Stop this. The members will see." Jiwon says nervously.

"I don't care. I want to be with you tonight. On your bed." Hanbin winks at Jiwon and Jiwon blushing. 

"Told you not to be with me always, Hanbinnie. You won't listen, don't you?" Jiwon kiss Hanbin forehead. 

Hanbin hugs Jiwon tightly. 

"Well, as what I remembered, only to the publics and sajang-nim. Now, it's only the two of us. I promise just for tonight. I want to be with you. Please?" Hanbin looks Jiwon in the eyes. 

"Such a baby." Jiwon tease Hanbin. 

"Well, I'm your baby now." Hanbin face turns red once he realised of what he replied to Jiwon. 

"Aigoo. My big baby." Jiwon laugh at Hanbin for being shy and hugs Hanbin. 

"Stop it, hyung." Hanbin wants to push Jiwon for teasing him but Jiwon's stronger. How can he get out from him. 

"You seriously love me, right hyung? You're not kidding me?" Hanbin still doubting Jiwon's true feeling. Everything feels new for him. Hearing his very best friend for the last six years actually loves him makes him feel like he owns the world.

"Why are you in denial? Of course I love you. You don't know how hard for me to not spilling the tea. Hide my feelings." Jiwon looks at Hanbin. 

"Tea?" Hanbin confuse. The appearance of Pabo-bin. Jiwon rolls his eyes. 

"If we both serious to be in this relationship, you should know the consequences, right? This - what if one day, you and I break up, you know how it will affect our group. I've so many thoughts that I can't answer myself. How us being together will affect the group? Will they accept our relationship? So many questions came to my mind. And I've been wondering what's your response if I ever confess to you. Will you love me back? Will you back off?" Jiwon take a deep breath before he continue. 

"The thought of us being together makes me happy, flustered and it's feels like I fell in love for the first time. All over again." 

"Along with that, there's fear. This kind of relationship, well you're aware too, if ever come to public, it would ruin us. Our career. Our group to be exact. I thought if I keep this feeling to myself, being distant with you, then everything will be okay and maybe my feeling towards you will slowly fade away. But I'm wrong. I can't stand sometimes how I'm being jealous when you're close with someone else." Jiwon laughs at the thought of his jealousy. 

"Then, I guess I fell in love with you very hard." Jiwon look at Hanbin, admiring every inches of his face. The apples of his eyes. 

"That applies to me too. I love you so much but I don't have the guts to tell you. Any possibilities came to mind. But as long I can keep you by my side, eventhough it hurts me for not confessing to you, is more than enough. I was so scared if I'm gonna lose you." Hanbin starts to cry at the thought of the possibilities of losing Jiwon and even his group members. They've work hard for being in this team. The struggles and everything, he wouldn't give up his members for nothing. One steps wrong in this relationship, all will be gone for nothing. 

"Hey, Binnie. Don't cry. Everything will be alright. For now, let's keep this between us. I guess maybe three of us. Or four. Hehehe." Jiwon smiles and wipes Hanbin's tears. 

"What do you mean four of us? Who know about us? You better tell me now. Oh, I guess it's maybe Jinhwan hyung since you told him first about your feeling. Who's another one?" Hanbin curious.

"Of course Pooh!" Jiwon takes Pooh from the top board of the bed. 

"You got me!" Hanbin relieve it's Pooh, Jiwon's long time companion.

"I must admit something because if possible I don't want to keep any secrets from you. Regarding you who too fond of skinship. I know it's your nature and I understand. But, you know I'm kinda jealous sometimes. I don't mind if you still doing that eventhough we're together, but I just want you to understand me if I got jealous sometimes, please Hanbin, convince me that everything will be fine. Give me assurance that you love me. I don't want the feeling of jealousy become hatred. I'm maybe the one that won't show much skinship, please know that I always love you. I don't want to do much skinship with you knowing how hype you can be. I'm doing it to the rest just because I love to tease them and seeing their annoy reactions." Jiwon tells Hanbin. He wanted this relationship to work for both of them. Saying what's on his mind probably will let Hanbin know he cares so much for this relationship. 

"Thank you Jiwonnie. For speaking out your mind. That's why I love you. I love how you care every little details about everything even you seems like you don't care at all. Let's make this work. If someday there's fight between us both for whatever stupid reason it is, let us talk. I think communication for both is quite important. Don't leave any sides hanging. I dislike that kind of feeling. Promise me?" Hanbin wanted to pinky promise with his babyung. 

"You're cute though. How thoughtful you are. I promise babe. Ahhh - Thank God I've confessed to you. I feel so much better now." Jiwon quickly pecks Hanbin's lip without warning. 

"Kim Jiwon, Kim Hanbin. Jiwon ah, I ordered - woahhh!" Jinhwan shocked at what he saw. Hanbin blushing, Jiwon rolls his eyes. 

"You didnt lock the door." Jiwon whispers to Hanbin. 

"Easy there. Should have lock the door, you know." Jinhwan says after the sight of Jiwon trying to kiss Hanbin. 

"What hyung?" Hanbin gets up while Jiwon grumbling because Jinhwan just ruin their moments. 

"I've ordered chickens and pizza. Your favs, Jiwon ah. Come, let's go! We've been waiting for you both." Jinhwan says. 

Jiwom at the speed of lights gets up from his bed and run to the dining room. 

"If he was ask to choose pizza or you, what do you think of his answer?" Jinhwan tease Hanbin and let out a small laugh. 

"Aaa hyung, stop it." Hanbin pouts at his tiny hyung.

"Let's go." Jinhwan drags Hanbin to the dining room.


	9. Sacrifice & Blessings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know if this is the right time for this. The feels. Everything. I'm sorry. See end notes.

Jiwon's going to YG's office after received personal text from him. 

"Hi Bobby. You're here. Okay, let's discuss about your album. I'm thinking of the suitable release date for your album will be on 14/09/2017. Nice right, one day before iKON's anniversary." YG smiles at Jiwon informing him the plans. 

"It means a month from now. But we haven't shoot the MV yet. Not even done with the final recording since you requested for more improvision on my songs." Jiwon blurt out his concerns. 

"Since you have less schedules in August, we'll arrange some times away for you to shoot the MV. You should finish all the recordings by these few days then proceed to th next steps. Oh yeah, since the album will be release in September, you guys have japan tours too, so maybe only one possible comeback stage for you." YG tells Jiwon.

Jiwon feel hurt. He don't expect this. 

"Can't we do it like in November?" Jiwon praying there's hope for him. Jiwon has this wish that he keep to himself for so long. If he ever make another comeback after the duo with Mino, he wants it to be a well promoted comeback, with fan signing event. He wanted to meet his fans closely who has always been supporting him. He wanted to thank every of the fans personally for their supports and loves who has been waiting for his solo. 

"No, we couldn't do that for you. We've been discussing, in November, we'll be releasing your album in Japan too. And you need to get ready for iKON's next comeback. You don't want to delay the comeback, right? Hanbin has been pushing me with a lot of demos. I'm sure all of you aware of his consistency. So, September will be fine for you eventhough your schedule will be a little bit tight with the japan tours. And I'm afraid there will be no any fan sign events prepare for you. You may feel too tired with the extra promotions with your pack schedules. Just the Vlive countdown with the choosen fans." YG says without looking at Jiwon. 

"I'm hoping you'll do well. Since this time, it was totally unexpected concept for your album. I actually thought you will came out with heavy hip hop concept. But since you insist, might as well proceed. " YG smirks at the thought of it.

For once, Jiwon really thought everything will be fine. This times around, he knows how sajang-nim never trust him on his solo. Sajang-nim only agree with this solo album because this deal has been promised earlier but the collaboration came up so it has been delay. There's no way Jiwon will cancel the solo. The fans and members too has been waiting for his solo. He couldn't do nothing more. He almost give up though but he has promised everyone about this. 

"Okay. I'll proceed with the final recording. I'll let you know once everything done. And we may proceed to the next steps." Jiwon says with a heavy heart. 

"Okay, that's good. We'll make the annoucement once everthing's ready. I guess this is it. You may go now." YG tells Jiwon.

\------------------------------------------

Jiwon feels like nothing going right according to his plans. 

He knew what YG meant by unexpected concept. YG expect it to be a full album with heavy rap just like the collaboration with Mino. But Jiwon wanted to show something new to the fans. He wanted to show other side of him - his vocal. He don't want to stuck only with one concept in his career. Exploring something new is Jiwon's habit. He doesn't limit himself. 

He sighs and walks to the practice room with absent mind. He's mentally tired. 

"Oh hyung. You're here. We're about to start." Donghyuk smiles at Jiwon. 

"I came at the right time." Jiwon hides his sadness with a smile.

Hanbin and Jinhwan sense there's something wrong with Jiwon. 

"How's your discussion with sajang-nim?" Jinhwan casually asks Jiwon wanted to know more about the discussion, perhaps that's the reason why Jiwon looks like he's been hiding something.

"Oh. I'll release the solo album. Will proceed with the final recording then shoot the MV later." Jiwon smiles at Jinhwan. Jinhwan knew it's a fake smile. 

"Finally. It's a good news. When is it?" Jinhwan asks him. Hanbin came closer to Jiwon. He didn't meet Jiwon for almost two days since he spent his time in studio preparing for their next comeback.

"Next month. 14/09/2017. A day before iKON's second anniversary. Nice date, huh?" Jiwon smiles. 

"But we'll be busy with the tours. You will have no times to promote." Jinhwan shocked knowing how rush this will be and how short notice is this for Jiwon to prepare everything at full speed. 

"It's okay. It has been decided anyway." Jiwon sighs. He try not to cry. He don't want this to be another issue. He'll overcome everything. This is just a small matter. The rest of the members gather near Jiwon.

"There will be comeback stages for you right? Or maybe fan sign events. Like we normally did." Hanbin holds Jiwon's arm.

"They promised me at least one comeback stage. Maybe only that. Not more not less. And no fan sign events for this album." Jiwon fakes his smile. 

"I did asked whether can it be postpone to November. But he said they can't do so because they need to release Japanese version in November. And we need to get ready for our next comeback. If I really wanted it to be later than November, then iKON's comeback will be delay." Jiwon looks at Hanbin and smile. 

They knew Jiwon agree to this extent because he want iKON to have a proper comeback. They read some comments saying their last comeback such a flop. It hurts them. And now knowing how Jiwon need to release the album in a rush, they can't help feels bad for him. Jiwon made this sacrifice for the team. Jiwon deserves the promotion he should get. 

"I'm going to spend my few days doing the final recording. Then proceed with the MV. I'm sorry I need to skip few of the practices." Jiwon hoping the members will understand his absence for the practice. 

"It's okay, hyung. We're okay. Take good care of yourself. You'll be tired running here and there not getting enough rest." Hanbin trying to give him comfort. 

"Hey, Jiwon ah. I know the process will be hard along the way, you may get tired and discourage. We'll be here for you anytime you need us. Just don't give up yet. Don't struggle alone. Thank you for keeping us together." Jinhwan hugs Jiwon. Jinhwan know comfort is what Jiwon need right now. 

"Yes, hyung. I know. To be able to release this album is another blessing for me anyway. Guess we should start practice now. Don't want waste any time." Jiwon tells them to move on with the practice. 

\------------------------------------------

After the practice. 

"Are you sure you're okay, hyung?" Hanbin asks Jiwon after the members left. 

"Yes, Hanbin. I'm good. Don't worry. I better get ready for the recording later." Jiwon smiles at Hanbin.

"Hyung." Hanbin holds Jiwon hand. 

"Thank you. For everything. I know this must been hard for you. Knowing you for these past few years, I know this solo promotion didn't going as what you have planned." Hanbin knew deep down in Jiwon's heart, this positive Jiwon has always been has this soft spot for the fans. Jiwon always wanted to give more to the fans with every opportunities infront of his eyes. Every members does think the same. Every possible ways of giving the best for fans that has been waiting for them to comeback. 

"Anything for this group. iKON has been a blessing in my life. So does iKONIC. I would do anything for you guys." Jiwon kiss Hanbin's soft hand. 

"You should go now. I'll see you at the dorm." Jiwon gets ready to leave the practice room. Jiwon gives Hanbin a quick peck at Hanbin's lips and got Hanbin caught off guard. 

"Love you, baby." Jiwon winks at Hanbin.

Hanbin blushing by Jiwon's unexpected action. 

"Love you too, Jiwonnie." Hanbin whisper to himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi. I don't know if there's anyone still continue reading my story here. This has been in my draft quite a long time. Even before 12/6. Been busy with life. I'm not sure whether to continue or not. It depends since the storyline started way back in 2017 and I don't feel like I can proceed because of what happened and I can't even move on. Yet. But here it is. My update for you. Thank you for your time. Til next time. :)


End file.
